Editing Their End of the Bargain

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{{TErow| 1 | Intro 1|The natives were so happy at Sir Christian's success that they completely forgot about the agreement to help him in return. The days and nights of celebration turned into weeks of endless parties. When Sir Christian reminded them of their end of the bargain they laughed and suggested that he kiss the south end of a northbound donkey. Leaving the celebrating natives behind, Sir Christian traveled to a tavern to drink his homesickness into oblivion. As he sat at the bar staring at the dregs of his New World Lager Lite, he suddenly felt a knife at his throat. "Turn around, slowly." He turned and looked into the face of the defeated leader of the northern towns. Sir Christian thought as quickly as he could in his inebriated state. "Can we talk?" he asked. The leader and his troops sat with Sir Christian as he explained the situation. They were suspicious, but they all agreed that Sir Christian was too dangerous to have on the island. After a long and heated discussion and a lot of drinking a bargain was struck. If Sir Christian agreed to accept a mission to kill off those pesky natives down south, they would gladly help him in getting back home. To protect himself from another possible betrayal, Sir Christian staggered to his feet and demanded a treaty signed in blood by the leaders and himself.}}

{{TErow| 4 | Day 4|As you are traveling to your new quarters you sort out your thoughts and strategies as to how, exactly, you will complete your new quest. This trip is also giving your body a chance to heal from all the bumps and bruises you've acquired from previous battles and bar brawls  (not to mention the headache that you will get from drinking that entire bottle of Redwood Pale Ale). You dig into your backpack and take out the bottle. The label reads:<p>REDWOOD PALE ALE<p>While riding you suddenly hop off of your horse, run into the bushes and spill your oats (and barley and hops.) Your whole life passes before your eyes and you swear on your grandfather's grave that you'll never do this again.<p>"Quantity is our middle name."<p>"No wonder it was on sale." you think to yourself.</p>}}

{{TErow| 15 | Day 15 send out spies|Your advisor suggests that you send out spies to gather information from behind the enemy lines. You agree and order four of your troops to go and get all the information they could about the enemy and return in five days.}}

{{TErow| 20 | Spies return|Your valiant spies have returned! A very noxious stench fills your nostrils. The stench worsens as you get closer to them. Their matted hair and tattered clothing make you think twice about the credibility of your troops. One of them staggers forward to speak. "Sir. We, your valiant spies, have returned...BURP!" He staggers back into his ranks and starts to pick something foul out of his ear. "You reek of New World Stout Longneck, vintage 1087!" You shout. "Sir. Ya certainly know your ales, sir," the spy slurs, obviously impressed. He belches loudly. The other spy speaks up next. "Uh...The enemies are building their towns and...uh...their troops as fast as possible sir...HIC!" "Oh. So go ahead and tell us something we don't know, you vomitus hairballs!" you scream. The spies fall over, bellowing with laughter, as you stomp away in a fit of rage saying to yourself,  "Next time I'll call on Rent-A-Spy."}}

{{TErow| 29 | Day 29|It is another blazing hot day. You and your troops are beyond exhaustion. You stop and sit down to take a load off. Suddenly two gorgeous, scantily clad women wearing little more than chainmail bodices approach and hand you a 12 pack of New World Genuine Draft Ale. You quickly look at the bottom of the bottle to be sure the ale is, in fact, fit to drink. You look back at the young ladies. On of the women winks at you, touches your lips with her finger, then touches her own lips. They turn and walk away. You have never seen such a beautiful sight.  Your hands become clammy and you experience a feeling that you have never felt before. "This must be love!" you shout. You then pop open the bottle and suddenly a strong breeze blows from the north. You take a drink. It is fresh, clean and has no aftertaste. The winds grow stronger and it begins to snow. "This is too much." You again shout, "I must be in love! Or this one fine ale!" You pass around the rest of the NWGD to your troops. }}

{{TErow| 38 | Pick up?|You spot a young female warrior facing away from you. It looks like she is repairing her battle armor. Entranced by her beauty, you try desperately to think of a way to impress her. Since reading "How to Pick Up Female Warriors" at the tavern library corner last week, you feel suave and confident. You saunter up to her and try one of the "never-fail" lines from the book.<p>"Didn't we meet last year at the Psychus Town slaughtering?"<p>She does not respond. Maybe she didn't hear you. The strong wind in the trees is rather loud. You didn't like that line any way. You think of another one that's sure to capture her heart. You draw closer so you know she'll hear you.  You speak.<p>"Every second of every hour of every day is like a thousand knives of fire stabbing me in the heart. I long for thee incessantly; so much that mine sorrow seems without surcease. My alliteration is small comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes. I crave the comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the dark."<p>Again nothing. It is as if you're not even speaking. You tap her on the shoulder. She suddenly jumps to her feet with a dagger in her hand.   

"Uh...Want some jerky?"<p>"You Pervert! I'll have you know that I want nothing to do with your sick fantasies!" She walks up to you and slaps you across the face, gets on her horse and rides away.</p>}}